Skip to main content

Why Marrying Your Best Friend could be a Mistake


(Tanya Little/hubby&wife)



Each of us has that one special someone we have known for most of our life and to whom we can bear our soul without being judged or betrayed. They are our support system 24/ in good times and in not so good times. They are that one positive, constant we depen -->d on to keep us honest and grounded.

Soulmate and best friend are entirely different. A soulmate is someone who encourages us and helps us grow on all three levels – personally, socially and professionally.

We share secrets with our best friend and other stuff we could never share with a family member, other friends or acquaintance; so why is it a huge mistake to fall in love with and marry our best friend?

A best friend means just “that” / someone we turn to for rescue or advice when life’s ocean creates too many ripples and we feel ourselves drowning.

When we marry our best friend, life changes but not always for the better. That person actually stops being our best friend since marriage takes on a different hue and role. Marriage is an institution of sacrifice and compromise.

Sometimes marriage can bring out the worst in a person; now we have no one else to turn to since our best friend is now our spouse. We still love and respect them but a bit disappointed since they now have very little time for us.

Our best friend was the one to whom we turn for advice – now our best friend is our spouse and how do we tell our spouse we have issues with them. We have no one else with whom to share this or seek advice.

Oh, do not misunderstand, best friends have their shortcomings as well but as our best friend, we overlook those shortcomings since we love, respect and accept everything about them as they do with us. We would never hurt them and they would never hurt us; however, we are not around them 24/7 either, as would be in marriage.

We have seen many people take weddings vows, including the words, “you are the love of my life, my guiding light and my best friend” – sounds very romantic and contrite but the bottom line is when we have a major disagreement with our best friend/spouse, there is no one to turn to except just another friend who may not be as trustworthy as our best friend.

Our spouse can be a good friend and vocally supportive of our goals and ventures but that our best friend sees us through the pitfalls that lead to actual success.


Keep our best friend separate from the pack. Best friend means just “that” – someone extra special who knows us better than we do and someone who loves us for what we are – good, bad and indifferent.

Planning to marry? Then stating the obvious, that best friend will be Maid of Honor or Best Man and a Godparent down the road.



Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Hear My Roar!

There is nothing in this life that cannot be fixed or, resolved;hence, life consists of situations, not problems. Like grandma used to say“there’s a lid for every pot”.

Whether it is parenting, enjoying a relationship or, trying to advance in the workplace, the key ingredients are patience, persistence and pursuit.


Patience:Stand back and view the entire picture.
quot;arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: medium;">Persistence: Tool of determination. Stay positive. Let nothing and no one deter you from moving forward.

Pursuit:  Aim high until you achieve that dream/goal.

What you would realize later in life that you live in a negative society that thrives on obstacles that hold you down and hold you back.

The Early Years
From toddler to adolescence, your mind was pretty much on what you wanted to be when you grow up. Family and friends mused over your vivid imagination. You were a child and had no voice of your own.

During the scholastic years, your classmates an…
2 comments
Read more

How to Roast a Succulent and Perfect Turkey

I have been hosting Thanksgiving 13 years and would really enjoy taking a year off from the Tom Turkey Project; however, there would be a gap.  I have my own way of prepping and cooking the famous bird and feel the need to share with my readers.

In the past, I always ordered and cooked the frozen turkey. Then a few years ago curiosity and a change of pace had me purchase a fresh bird and a good choice it was. The only problem is that a fresh turkey does not come with a lifter; hence, I created my own. See the illustration at the end of this article.
Items needed

70 inches of twine for make-shift turkey lifter 4 Sticks Unsalted Butter Salt and Pepper
Carving Board with Moat (if possible). The moat is the recessed edges of the carving board that contains the juices while carving and makes for easy cleanup. 


Food Station
I always set up my kitchen table as the food station. This is where I place the leftovers in their respect servers after dinner. This allows everyone to chose their pickin'…
Post a Comment
Read more

Portfolio of Good Health

Sometimes a friend's affirmation
Is better than Medication

“Money makes the world go ‘round, but the one commodity which the almighty dollar cannot buy is good health
An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure or, as I prefer to say – One perfect rose is better than a bruised bouquet. Good health is taken for granted until pain ensues and tests return unfavorable results.

Stress The biggest offender is stress. It comes in all forms and we allow it to control our lives, rather than we controlling ‘it’.
Reducing stress takes discipline and recognizing the cause. Procrastination is one. Putting off the unpleasant tasks or doctor appointments since we are not ready to pursue, yet it haunts us on a daily basis until one morning we awaken and say, “okay, this is! Today it gets done!”
Reducing stress, per se, requires staying calm which is virtually impossible in daily living.The power of positive thinking creates positive energy and helps recharge our mental and physical batteries…
Post a Comment
Read more