Skip to main content

Why Marrying Your Best Friend could be a Mistake



(Tanya Little/hubby&wife)



Each of us has that one special someone we have known for most of our life and to whom we can bear our soul without being judged or betrayed. They are our support system 24/ in good times and in not so good times. They are that one positive, constant we depen -->d on to keep us honest and grounded.

Soulmate and best friend are entirely different. A soulmate is someone who encourages us and helps us grow on all three levels – personally, socially and professionally.

We share secrets with our best friend and other stuff we could never share with a family member, other friends or acquaintance; so why is it a huge mistake to fall in love with and marry our best friend?

A best friend means just “that” / someone we turn to for rescue or advice when life’s ocean creates too many ripples and we feel ourselves drowning.

When we marry our best friend, life changes but not always for the better. That person actually stops being our best friend since marriage takes on a different hue and role. Marriage is an institution of sacrifice and compromise.

Sometimes marriage can bring out the worst in a person; now we have no one else to turn to since our best friend is now our spouse. We still love and respect them but a bit disappointed since they now have very little time for us.

Our best friend was the one to whom we turn for advice – now our best friend is our spouse and how do we tell our spouse we have issues with them. We have no one else with whom to share this or seek advice.

Oh, do not misunderstand, best friends have their shortcomings as well but as our best friend, we overlook those shortcomings since we love, respect and accept everything about them as they do with us. We would never hurt them and they would never hurt us; however, we are not around them 24/7 either, as would be in marriage.

We have seen many people take weddings vows, including the words, “you are the love of my life, my guiding light and my best friend” – sounds very romantic and contrite but the bottom line is when we have a major disagreement with our best friend/spouse, there is no one to turn to except just another friend who may not be as trustworthy as our best friend.

Our spouse can be a good friend and vocally supportive of our goals and ventures but that our best friend sees us through the pitfalls that lead to actual success.


Keep our best friend separate from the pack. Best friend means just “that” – someone extra special who knows us better than we do and someone who loves us for what we are – good, bad and indifferent.

Planning to marry? Then stating the obvious, that best friend will be Maid of Honor or Best Man and a Godparent down the road.



Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Hear My Roar!

There is nothing in this life that cannot be fixed or, resolved;hence, life consists of situations, not problems. Like grandma used to say“there’s a lid for every pot”.

Whether it is parenting, enjoying a relationship or, trying to advance in the workplace, the key ingredients are patience, persistence and pursuit.


Patience:Stand back and view the entire picture.
Persistence: Tool of determination. Stay positive. Let nothing and no one deter you from moving forward.

Pursuit:  Aim high until you achieve that dream/goal.

What you would realize later in life that you live in a negative society that thrives on obstacles that hold you down and hold you back.

The Early Years
From toddler to adolescence, your mind was pretty much on what you wanted to be when you grow up. Family and friends mused over your vivid imagination. You were a child and had no voice of your own.

During the scholastic years, your classmates and teachers (professors) were actually supportive in your goals and what you hoped t…
2 comments
Read more

Before and After Cataract Surgery

Vision is a precious commodity. God gave us one pair of eyes and we need to take good care of them since we cannot navigate without them.
When our vision is blurry, the lens in our eyes get cloudy; hence, cataracts begin to form and need to be removed at some point. 
While cataracts are more dominant in older people or as I prefer to say “aging teenagers”, people in their 40’s and 50’s also have cataract surgery.
I recently had cataract surgery in both eyes. My vision was blurry. I also had a damaged optic nerve, plus borderline glaucoma since my eye pressure was 28 and the accepted pressure is 16 or lower.
Before Cataract Surgery You will be given an eye exam by your ophthalmologist and measured for lens.
You will be given a date for the surgery and three weeks prior to the cataract surgery, the ophthalmologist or, as I (old school) prefer to say eye-doctor sends Presurgical paperwork to your physician for specific blood work. An EKG is also required.
You will receive a call from the h…
Post a Comment
Read more