Each of us has that one special someone we have known for most of our life and to whom we can bear our soul without being judged or betrayed. They are our support system 24/ in good times and in not so good times. They are that one positive, constant we depen -->d on to keep us honest and grounded.
Soulmate and best friend are entirely different. A soulmate is someone who encourages us and helps us grow on all three levels – personally, socially and professionally.
We share secrets with our best friend and other stuff we could never share with a family member, other friends or acquaintance; so why is it a huge mistake to fall in love with and marry our best friend?
When we marry our best friend, life changes but not always for the better. That person actually stops being our best friend since marriage takes on a different hue and role. Marriage is an institution of sacrifice and compromise.
Sometimes marriage can bring out the worst in a person; now we have no one else to turn to since our best friend is now our spouse. We still love and respect them but a bit disappointed since they now have very little time for us.
Our best friend was the one to whom we turn for advice – now our best friend is our spouse and how do we tell our spouse we have issues with them. We have no one else with whom to share this or seek advice.
Oh, do not misunderstand, best friends have their shortcomings as well but as our best friend, we overlook those shortcomings since we love, respect and accept everything about them as they do with us. We would never hurt them and they would never hurt us; however, we are not around them 24/7 either, as would be in marriage.
We have seen many people take weddings vows, including the words, “you are the love of my life, my guiding light and my best friend” – sounds very romantic and contrite but the bottom line is when we have a major disagreement with our best friend/spouse, there is no one to turn to except just another friend who may not be as trustworthy as our best friend.
Our spouse can be a good friend and vocally supportive of our goals and ventures but that our best friend sees us through the pitfalls that lead to actual success.
Keep our best friend separate from the pack. Best friend means just “that” – someone extra special who knows us better than we do and someone who loves us for what we are – good, bad and indifferent.
Planning to marry? Then stating the obvious, that best friend will be Maid of Honor or Best Man and a Godparent down the road.