You may have the most impressive resume and keep pace with the
current fashion but your body language depicts the real you, personally,
professionally and socially.
During an interview, do not cross your legs, just the ankles and
tuck under the chair. Sit with each hand on the arm of the chair – this sends
the message I am comfortable, self confident and open to suggestions.
Avoid folding your hands in your lap; it sends the message I am
unable to think for myself and I am easily intimidated.
By the same token, the successful candidate has been known to
decline a job offer because they were unimpressed with the Employer’s persona,
as well.
Socially, it’s about fitting in. The attractive fashionista segment is merely window dressing; poor body language sends the message of uncertainty and possible interaction issues with fellow humans.
The Key Three
Eye Contact, the handshake and posture are the key three that
determine a person’s character.
Eye-contact: Nothing screams insecurity or, disrespect, worse avoiding eye
contact with the person to whom you are speaking. Your eyes are the windows of
your soul, despite what your words may say. It is important to maintain
eye-contact from start to finish
The Handshake: The handshake should be a firm grasp and match that of the
person whom you are greeting. Too strong a handshake (just short of hurting)
sends the message of empowerment and/or overly confident. Too weak sends the
message of lay-back, somewhat insecure and indecisive or, as they say in the
industry, “that of a dead mackerel.”
Best test for the right strength handshake: Try shaking hands
with a family member or, friend. Remember to step slightly forward with the
right foot while, simultaneously, extending your hand. This indicates your
enthusiasm to greet the other person. Initially the family member or, friend
will laugh at this concept; however, once they understand, their curiosity and
interest will ensue.
Posture: Poor posture
(round-shouldered or, slumped forward) sends the message of withdrawing and
ill-confident. Poor posture is also detrimental to one’s health.
Standing straight, shoulders back, tummy in, helps you look,
feel and act confident. This also applies to sitting and walking, plus it
enhances good mental and physical health.
What to do with your arms.
Do not cross your arms. This sends the message you are very
self-conscious.
Suggestions
Try placing your hands in front of you, loosely folded or, place
hands on your hips, palms flat, fingers pointed forward and thumb to the back.
This sends the message the person(s) have your full attention.
Fists on hips is a "no-no". It sends the message you
are argumentative, opinionated, controlling and manipulative.
Your Best Friend and Tool: The (full-length) Mirror
Talk to your image in the mirror, maintaining eye-contact. Sound
crazy? Not really; please know models, actors and celebrities do this all the
time before auditioning or, appearing on stage.
Now check your posture. Are you round-shouldered? Do you slump?
This is also the reason your clothes may not fit as well as they should. Good
posture is reflected with everything you wear.
The Handshake: As indicated above, practice stepping slightly
forward with the right foot and simultaneously extending your hand. This will
look more effective in the mirror.
For all you pros who already possess the above Key Three – just keep up the good work and continued success in all you do.
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