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Self-Confidence: The Positive and Negative Factors

Mark Twain said he could live two whole weeks on a single compliment. Even a dog gets a pat on the head. It’s all about self-confidence

Overconfidence repels your fellow humans; low self-esteem needs lots of work so you can get out there and blow your own horn.

Unfortunately, we live in a society that feeds on negative energy and derives pleasure tossing fireballs at those who try to succeed in life.

The average family environment consists of either positive or negative energy which determines the emotional and physical status of our well-being.

Self confidence is our basic foundation. It is a built-in component at birth, develops during childhood and sculpts itself, forming our adulthood. This precious and ever-so-fragile commodity makes a stop along the way, taking on still another form called the “False Negative” and the “False Positive” factors, respectively.

The False Negative (Factor)

The “False Negative” usually stems from a family history of underachievers; negative friends; negative work environment and, of course, the worst scenario of all, “competitive jealousy” which the writer labels as “disease of the soul”. When we are stifled, ignored and deprived of expressing ourselves on a personal, professional or social level, this prevents us from excelling or, achieving success.

We are often compared with other family members, friends and co-workers; hence, coerced into competing with the expectation of failing, rather than succeeding. Subsequently, we lose our own identity, self worth; hence, abandon our hopes, dreams and goals.

Self-confidence already damaged and psychologically immobilized, we now lend a deaf ear to praise, feeling incapable of succeeding, until one day a friend or even a stranger reminds us of our true worth and inspires us to move forward with a positive outlook. 

The False Positive (Factor)

The “False Positive” is the worst form of self-deception. It is detrimental to both the human being and the human race. Family environment consistently rewards bad behavior. We were never properly schooled or groomed to graciously accept constructive criticism and justified rejection; hence, we enter the fiercely competitive industry armed with false validation; lack of preparation or proper tools.

Subsequently, we are left bewildered, inept of comprehending the real world; remembering only that family and/or close friends decided that, come what may, we are infallible to human error.

We also find the “learning curve” in the workplace somewhat disconcerting, yet a challenge, especially the ‘Team Leader/Team Player” segment.

We resent this orientation since we are considered the official family and/or neighborhood “pack leader” and chose to set our own rules rather than following organizational policies, procedures or protocol.

Scholastically, we delude ourselves with the false concept that popularity or “connection” will get us a passing grade.

At some point, we are suddenly brought to a jarring halt, rude awakening and the hard-core reality that professors are there for a purpose and expect each student to focus with full commitment. This is the only way courses are passed and Degrees are earned.

Socially, we find ourselves sitting or, standing alone in the corner or, associating with only a certain few with whom we choose to relate.

In essence, it is a luxury to have just one true friend or, mentor, in our life, as a positive “constant”/”go-to” person whose guidance, direction and support helps us recognize our true “worth” and reach our full potential.

Self-confidence enables us to stand strong in our conviction, pursue our “dream goals”, plus survive the odds of a negative and unforgiving society.

If you are the “False Negative”, it is time to reevaluate your true worth; learn to stand strong in your conviction; make a difference, then reclaim your self-confidence.

If you are the “False Positive”, it is time to step back, rethink your life, then acknowledge that hard work and humility are the real success factors; hence, begin reclaiming your true self-confidence on an honest and realistic level. 


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